Love, in a Nutshell

A little late, but this has been on my mind lately, as I'm looking around at the people around me and listening to them speak about their partners. And this doesn't only apply to a lover. This is about bonds. Lover, familial, companion... You feel a different love for each, but it's still a feeling you don't get with a stranger, a fondness and solidarity.

Valentine's Day is a time for reflection and growth of bonds. It's a day to celebrate the love that you share, and of course who you choose to share it with. But it's also a day to reflect on your relationships and how you can make them even stronger.

Like a tree, a relationship needs to be nurtured. Just like a tree needs sunlight, water, and nutrients to grow, a relationship needs love, communication, and understanding to flourish. If you want your relationship to be strong and healthy, you need to be willing to put in the work.

One of the most important things to remember is that you need to grow together. Just like a tree grows taller and stronger over time, your relationship needs to evolve and change as you both grow as individuals. This means being open to new experiences, being willing to compromise, and being supportive of each other's dreams.

It's also important to remember that relationships are not always easy. There will be times when you disagree, times when you feel like giving up. But it's during these difficult times that you need to lean on each other. Regarding a lover - You chose your lover, the one you are building your life with, right? Regarding family - You love these people. Your time with them and the memories you share are your treasures, right? Your friends - You remember why you became friends, right? What you've shared with them and how your life has benefited from them being in it. Assuming these are the cases, of course. if they aren't, they are not part of this celebration to begin with so boot that to the door. Why do you have the bond you have with this person and what does it mean to you. Is it worth the love in your heart? I can't answer the questions for you, and my answers will not match yours.

If you're willing to put in the work, you can create a beautiful relationship that will last a lifetime (Or more, depending on your beliefs). Just like a tree that has weathered many storms, your relationship will be stronger and more resilient if you can learn to grow together.

If you really need tips, I have some for you. Common sense version though, Just treat them with the respect you would give yourself. And showing love is so simple, it should be second nature. If you're hungry, get them something too, because likely they are also hungry. Wow, stomachs, am I right? Still waiting to meet someone without one.

• Communicate openly and honestly. Talk about your hopes, your dreams, and your fears. Talk often and actually listen to the feedback. Don't interrupt each other or talk over each other. Give the respect to the other person that you are hearing them, not just listening.

• Be supportive of each other's goals. Help each other to achieve your dreams. Helping them is helping you in the long run, if you need to look at it that way. Having that person succeed is a win for you because there is now more light shining in your life. Smiles are very contagious.

• Be willing to compromise. Relationships are about give and take. No one has to pay for you. You are a grown adult (I would hope.) It's time to pull up your britches and realize you're the side character in everyone else's story. My husband isn't a spicy food guy, so instead of putting hot sauce in my mac and cheese, I just put it on the portion I put on my own plate. Compromising can be rather simple, just don't be selfish.

• Make time for each other. Don't let your relationship take a backseat to work or other commitments. Work is important, but it can mean the world to take a day to go see a comedy show or build a pillow fort, nest around the TV and marathon all the Kung Fu Panda movies. Use your time off wisely. (Also I can rant forever about Overtime mandates in the workforce, don't get me started on that bologna.)

• Be patient. Growing together takes time. We have to learn each other just like others have to learn us. We are not hive mind. Well,, most of us- er.... ok, we SHOULD?N'T be. I encourage people not to be. Hive mind = bad. Individual thinking = good.

• Go on dates. Regular dates are something to look forward too to break any monotony in the daily grind with an experience to share and another memory to add to your repertoire. "Remember that time when...?"

• Do things together that you both enjoy. Find common interests and pursue them together. Better yet, bring a camera and make an album. Sounds cheesy, but I Underestimated how much I wish I had taken pictures of that one time I went to CoSci (Columbus Science ?Museum), or when I went to the aquarium for the first time with my boyfriend. Or when I went to King's Island with my best friend and it was the last time I ever saw her because life and jobs and diverging of common paths.

• Be affectionate. Show your love for each other . Words are nice, but we need to feel a connection, not be read a line from a play. Hugs are amazing and mostly everyone needs one. Getting someone something little like a drink without them asking just because. Make them a scarf or something just to show you were thinking of them.

• Forgive each other. Everyone makes mistakes. Even you. You don't have to forget. You shouldn't forget. Be mindful, of course, but take a step back and breathe. Forgiveness is for your own well being,.

• Be grateful for each other. Appreciate the love that you share. Do not take a person for granted. And remember that every interaction you have could be your last. Do you really want whatever you said or did with that person to be your final memory? Will you have regrets?

Remember, a strong relationship is like a beautiful garden. It takes time, effort, and care to cultivate it. But the results are abundant and plentiful

Happy Valentine's Day!